The end of the Universe as we know it

Well, it's finally happened. The Apocalypse is here, Armageddon has arrived, and the Rapture is sure to follow shortly.

What am I talking about, you wonder?

Well, let's consider what has happened in the past week -

• Plan B was approved for over the counter sale
• The number of planets in the solar system has decreased by one
• Scientists have found a way to harvest embryonic stem cells, and still the Bush administration is unhappy (no big surprise here)
• We're looking at another war in the middle east, this time with Iran.

Surely, these must be signs of the end of the world, right? How long have we had nine planets in the solar system? Something like the past 76 years? Now, with the wave of a pen and a few neuronal firings, Pluto is no more - demoted to the perfunctory status of "dwarf planet." Much like a "dwarf star," which used to be a star in all it's glory until it burned out, this "dwarf planet" was once (only a few days ago) a true-to-God planet, a heavenly body to be reckoned with. Who, in their right mind would mess with a planet? But a "dwarf planet?" Even the name makes me want to laugh at it. And what did Pluto do wrong? It was a little too small, that's all..

Ok, enough being stupid. Those really are some of the big headlines from this week, just to show you that I was paying attention to what happens in the world around me. I'm not totally self absorbed, you know. Sheesh!